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who am i

Name: modgurl
Location: Singapore

New mom. New woman. Born in Singapore. Raised in the World Wide Web.
Tuesday, March 26, 2013 @ 1:46 pm

Dear Blogger,

Been feeling uninspired for the last 2 weeks. Low energy. Didn't want to do anything much. Didn't want to work. I thought it was ironic because I've been brisk walking every morning for almost a month now. I thought exercise makes you happy and energised.

I'm not inspired to even write anything now, but I thought I share this with you. A while ago, I googled "what to do when uninspired". I read on someone's blog that there's 2 types of "uninspired". One is plain laziness. The other is emptiness. An example of emptiness is writer's block. No point pushing through the blocks when you're feeling empty. There's nothing to push. One just needs to do something else to feel refreshed.

I'm not sure which type of "uninspired" I am facing right now. Maybe it's the second. I really, really, really feel like walking away from it all. I know it's really not possible. How can I just leave my job when I'm still bonded till the end of the year? How can I leave my marriage when I've 3 young children who still need their mommy?


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Tuesday, March 05, 2013 @ 7:30 pm
Hormonal Headaches

Dear Blogger,

It'll be an early night for me today. I can feel a throbbing headache coming. I hate this! It's becoming so regular that I'm surprised my only salvation is a double dose of Panadol. With all of medical's breakthrough and advancement, they can't find a cure for this monthly headaches, which not surprisingly, affects many women.

When I googled about this headache, some sufferers called it "hormonal headaches". There really isn't a medical term for it but it describes a headache that was caused by a dip in some hormones due to menstruation. So, it can happen before, during or after a woman's period.

I never used to get this headaches. It was only after the birth of my third child that I started noticing these headaches. None of the doctors I went to could tell me why and how I could prevent it. Not even my gynaecologist! She didn't even know what it was!

Strangely enough, I would rather get cramps than headaches. With cramps, I've more concrete evidence to show that I'm sick and people understood. With headaches, it's a little more challenging. It's harder to tell people that I've a headache and it's caused by period. Men don't get it.

Also, with cramps, I just have to drink milk (chocolate milk is the best!) and then sleep the cramps off. With a headache, I've to swallow a pain killer like Panadol or Aspirin and I don't like that. I like stuffing so much drugs down my throat. I know of people who pops Panadol like candy.

So tonight, my work is postponed again. I don't know when I'm going to find the time to squeeze my outstanding paperwork. It's the curse of being a woman. I've always believed that God made us have menses for deceiving Prophet Adam (peace be upon him) to eat the forbidden fruit.


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Sunday, March 03, 2013 @ 10:38 pm
Mom's Dinner Treat

Dear Blogger,

Today, my mom made a rare gesture of treating us to dinner. She called me in the morning asking to meet  at Downtown East because she wanted to treat us to sushi. When I pressed for more details, she said she wanted to eat sushi but my sister didn't want to accompany her. So, she asked us instead. When I asked if she received a windfall, she said the government gave her a bonus.

Apparently, that government bonus happened to be the Workfare Scheme for low-wage earners. It's a cash gift to assist such employees so they could pay for daily necessities or training courses. For people like my mom, they use the incentive to splurge. Then again, I would prefer her to splurge on her family than she wasting her money on some get-rich-quick scheme that ladies like her tend to gullibly fall for.

After weighing our dining options, we decided that Sakura International Buffet was the best for its affordable charges and decent menu selection. Dining at a Japanese restaurant might cost my mom more and the menu is limited.

At final count, my sister and brother, together with his girlfriend, decided to join the paid-for dinner. Don't know what made them change their mind, but I can't remember the last time my family sat down for any meal together. It's a pity that two of m brothers can't join us. One was working, the other was nursing a broken leg at home.

Tonight's menu was alright. The crowded restaurant wasn't. When we sat down at our table at about 6.15pm, the restaurant was almost full. When I went to the buffet station, most of the popular dishes were gone, leaving behind empty trays. I was aghast! Diners ahead of me just grabbed anything they saw. It was like we've been attacked by coyotes!

Nevertheless, I managed to try almost everything in the menu. I'm feeling quite bloated and sleepy now. I think those days that I've managed to drag my feet out for a walk his week were wasted. Did plan to walk a few rounds of the neighbourhood, but I'm getting too sleepy. I'm partially nodding off as I'm typing this. I'll try to do it first thing in the morning.


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