modgurl's
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who am i

Name: modgurl
Location: Singapore

New mom. New woman. Born in Singapore. Raised in the World Wide Web.
Sunday, February 24, 2013 @ 11:53 pm
Nurturing Children and Financial Investments

Dear Blogger,

I should blog more regularly because I think my husband still reads my blogs. Doesn't matter. I'm a satisfied woman now. I'm not going to dish out all the dirty details but let's just say that he's pretty exhausted now. We haven't done it more than once in 24 hours ever since we got married!

Anyway, I've been spending a lot for my class and I'm not claiming reimbursement. I know some of my colleagues and other teachers out there think I'm being stupid for not using the school's resources. It's not that I don't want to use the school's resources. It's just that the school's resources are quite limited.

Just like my own children, can't blame me for being proud of the children in my class. If me spending my hard-earned money on my lessons and class organisation, then isn't it a good thing? I see my children happy and proud of their work as well as wanting to come to school early, then I'm happy too.

Nurturing children shouldn't be about financial investments. There shouldn't be a value stamped on their heads. They are not objects we can barter. The only investments we can put on them is our love and knowledge. I hope I am doing those.

Besides, I'm living a good and blessed life now. I shouldn't be too calculative in my work life, although the organisation does owe me some money. As the charities always say, giving is better than receiving. In fact, when you give more, you actually receive more! You won't receive the money that you gave. You will receive something much much more than what money could buy.

Sincerely,
modgurl.

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Saturday, February 23, 2013 @ 12:51 am
Frustration

Dear Blogger,

Lately I've gotten easily frustrated with everything. I'm frustrated with my workload. I'm frustrated with my body. I'm frustrated with my children's increasing behavioural issues. I'm frustrated with my husband's constant worries about his job, bank account and children's health. I'm frustrated with my boring going-with-the-motion sex, which by the way isn't as frequent as people might think. I'm frustrated with my limitations. I'm frustrated with the 6.9 million population target by the government. I'm frustrated with everything!

Sometimes I wonder if my life would have been more exciting if I didn't have children. Or I wouldn't be so fat if I hadn't gotten married. If I can't have satisfying sex, that means I'm not desirable anymore. I despise the way I look now. I see a tub of greasy vegetable shortening in the mirror and it looks like I married one too. I know I should go out and exercise but I just don't have the will to do it. Maybe I need to get another devastating heartbreak to push myself into action. Maybe I need to live on the edge.

Thoughts of cheating has crossed my mind several times but I doubt the guys that I desire would even look at me. Desperate housewife syndrome? I'm not even a housewife anymore. Sometimes I resort to soft porn on the net but they get boring after awhile. My mind doesn't even wander off to fantasy land anymore! Do I have a problem? Yes I think so.  Do I need to sit on a psychiatrist's chair? I think I do. Do I feel like lighting up a cigarette now? Yes I do. I haven't smoked cigarettes ever since I got married. Early menopause? Perhaps.

Sincerely,
modgurl.

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Tuesday, February 12, 2013 @ 11:04 pm
The Sudden Need To Shelve

Dear Blogger,

Today I woke up early, planning to do some work which I've delayed since I got sick. I had my day all planned out, even to the nitty gritty detail. But, as you know, we can only plan. God and other factors determine our actions.

I only managed to complete my Arabic homework, which I'm very proud of. It took me close to two hours, but I'm getting quite confident in my Arabic language competency. After that, all that I have planned for went down the garbage.

I got distracted by the sudden need to have some shelves installed. Of course I didn't have any spare shelves in hand, so I thought of going to IKEA. Before I could go to IKEA, I had to look through its catalogue which we always keep, just in case. The catalogue didn't help much, so hubby said we needed to go to the store to see its collection. We planned to go when the children were taking their afternoon nap. But of course, hubby had to take his afternoon nap too.

So while everyone else was asleep, I had the urge to bake cookies. Something easy to make yet satisfying and also healthy. Thought of oatmeal cookies. I had oatmeal. I had raisins too. I had all the ingredients needed to make oatmeal raisin cookies. Then, I thought aren't there any oatmeal raisin cookie recipes without butter? Of course there are! Leave it to Google to find what I wanted.

By the time I finished baking cookies, it was close to 5pm. Then I remembered we ran out of goldfish food! The poor fishes haven't eaten the whole day! Doubt the neighbourhood pet shop would be opened since it was still Chinese New Year holiday. It would be opened next week by the way. We read the notice on its shutters as we walked past later in the evening. So I decided to go to Giant. Could do with some grocery shopping I thought. This was even though I knew the shelves would be near empty.

The whole troop made our way to Giant. It was crowded as expected. Goodbye to planned stopover at IKEA. At Giant, even though I barely got half of the items in my grocery list, it still cost me close to a hundred dollars. I told you my grocery budget is a lot! By the time we reached home, it was about 8pm.

Then we decided to have dinner at one of the neighbourhood eatery. I don't know why I chose to eat even though I wasn't hungry. It's just one of those things where you know you shouldn't do it, but you just had to do it. I ordered sizzling mushroom steak. At least, no carbo right? Besides, I walked while carrying 9kg infant at Giant for two hours. MyFitnessPal said I lost 554 cal doing just that. Also, protein is important in weight loss. Sizzling mushroom steak justified!

Now I'm here blogging when I should be sleeping. Planned to wake up super early to finish some overdue work. Planned! If God wills! There should be a ban on starting the work week in midweek!

Sincerely,
modgurl.

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Monday, February 11, 2013 @ 9:30 pm
Which Animal Year Is It Now?

Dear Blogger,

It's the new Chinese year already? Wasn't it just the dragon year? I remembered everyone making such a big hoo hah over the dragon year, about how it was auspicious etc. Remembered the gynaecology clinic crowded with expecting mommies-to-be.

Anyway, which animal is it now? Snake? Is Snake good? Haven't read much into it. Maybe there isn't much to read about. So far, my 2013 hasn't turned out rosy. Just recovered from flu. How awful is it to be sick over a long weekend holiday? It's really very depressing. Couldn't do much except sleep. You know how easy cold medicine will knock me out.

Feel bad for the children. They couldn't go out because mommy was sick. So they have been very restless of late. The temperamental weather of late wasn't helping either. One minute it was hot and sunny, the next minute it was raining in vengeance. No wonder people are falling sick.

A few days ago (or was it yesterday?), I read that 20% more Singaporeans are going overseas during Chinese New Year. I'm not surprised. Almost everybody I know are not on this island. I don't know if I should envy them or despise them. I know deep down, there'll be some rewards for my misfortune some day. Maybe God wants me home with my family. Ohhhh my family... I am just lost for words when it comes to my family.

Sincerely,
modgurl.

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