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who am i

Name: modgurl
Location: Singapore

New mom. New woman. Born in Singapore. Raised in the World Wide Web.
Thursday, June 28, 2012 @ 11:31 pm

Dear Blogger,

Sometimes the hardest thing about being a mother is not so much the amount of workload one automatically assumes responsibility of. It's the lack of support from the person you expected to receive from. In other words, the spouse.

Support comes in many forms. Some as concrete materials like finance. Some physical. Sometimes, support need not even require a lifted finger. A simple agreement is support too! I've found that one of the most difficult task requiring support is disciplining children.

Children need to be disciplined. As much as we want them to be inquisitive, explorative and imaginative, they still need to learn that they can't always do whatever they want. They have to learn to work within rules and guidelines. If rules and guidelines aren't important, governments all over the world won't spend so much time drafting them and enforcing them. Even God sets rules and guidelines for us mortal beings!

What I hate most when I'm doing my job as a mother is when someone else over-rides my decisions. This is especially so when I'm disciplining my children. Like tonight for example. I don't know what is it about beds that make children want to jump on them all the time. Told my children repeatedly not to jump on the beds because they may fall and hit their heads. If they fall and they don't hurt any part of their bodies, it's fine with me. It's very annoying if they fall and cry the house down in pain and then look for mommy hoping that I'll give them some magic healing something to make the pain go away instantly.

Well tonight, it happened. My son Iman, didn't just fall. He cut his forehead against the window grill and smashed onto the wall. Now he has a deep cut on a big lump on his forehead. What was my natural instinct? To assess the damage on his forehead. What did I do next? Applied cold compress on the big nasty lump. What did the father do? Pulled the boy away because he couldn't stand the crying from the boy. Of course he's crying in pain! That's what you would feel if you had hit your head against a wall! But the cut and lump still need to be treated!

In a clichéd relationship, the father is usually the tough, stoic character while the mother is the soft cookie. In my relationship, I'm the hardy one while he's the softie. Sometimes I think he's a pussy. But don't ever mistaken my straightforwardness to mean that I don't love my children. Nurturing isn't just about Care Bears/Strawberry Shortcake wholesome goodness. Sometimes tough love is needed in life's lessons.

So imagine my frustration when I couldn't do my job well just because he crumbles at the sound of cries of pain. Bloody hell! I'm sick of being the "bad" parent but since we both can't be softies, somebody has to do the nasty jobs. Being a mother is already a thankless job. Now I've to be mean too.


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