modgurl's
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who am i

Name: modgurl
Location: Singapore

New mom. New woman. Born in Singapore. Raised in the World Wide Web.
Monday, September 26, 2011 @ 8:01 am

Dear Blogger,

Ipy and I were watching a Hindi movie last night when he said something that made me think.

He said, "You know, when I travelled to third world countries like India, I always liked to watch the children play. They looked very happy. They played with no worries in their minds. Unlike Singapore children. I think children in Singapore are not happy. They can't play without thinking of homework and tests."

I wonder if my children are happy. They're not in school yet so I think they're happy. The children in my childcare don't look happy though. Who wants to be cooped up in structured environment for 12 hours? Yes, some parents send their children as soon as the childcare opens at 7 a.m. and fetch them when the centre's about to close at 7 p.m. I think our children work longer hours than the adults. I think our children have forgotten how to be children.

I worry about the state of our education. What's the point of having a world-class education system when the future we are moulding are not world-class? I see more and more graduates of our school system lacking in social skills. They may have higher IQ than their counterparts in other countries but their EQ is something to be desired.

So how can I send my children to school knowing this??? Thanks to the Compulsory Education Act, I will have to enroll them in school when they turn 7 years old. Albert Einstein said school had done him more harm than good, and I do agree. Not that I totally against schools. I am still studying in a school aren't I? I like the knowledge I gained in schools but I sure hate the grading system and the workload and the exams. Do they really measure my competence?

I think parents are to blame too. I understand every parent wants the best for their child but what does it mean to be the "best"? Does "best" mean acing all tests and exams? Does "best" mean being a responsible person? I think parents should stop dragging their children into their rat race. Ask yourselves, is it their ambition or yours?

Sincerely,
modgurl.


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Monday, September 12, 2011 @ 5:42 pm

Dear Blogger,

The 10th anniversary of 9/11 attack has come and gone. Every year around this time, there will be a lot of reflections in the media about the attack. Not that it's a bad thing but I say, enough on the spotlight on Islam! The attack wasn't an Islamic act and many Muslims have condemned it. So why don't the media and the US government leave us Muslims alone?

If I really have to be honest, the rednecks in the US aren't tolerant creatures either. If you want to discuss death counts, how many innocent people were killed by the American government in history? How many civilians have they killed in the two Iraq wars alone??? When a foreigner kills an American, it's terrorism. But when an American kills a foreigner, it's in the name of justice??? What a load of bollocks!

9/11 was a scary time for the whole world but US' reaction to the attack made the world an even scarier place to live in. Whatever you want to say about American pride, I say America has lost my respect.

Sincerely,
modgurl.


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Thursday, September 08, 2011 @ 5:00 am

Dear Blogger,

Before I got married, living with my family was hard. Now that I'm a member of another family, it's even harder. Not that I want to live in an isolated island. I just find it difficult to pretend that things are alright anymore.

Being the only daughter-in-law, I don't have anybody to talk with. I mean really talk with. Sure I talk to other family members but it's just normal talk, nothing that really unify us together. I can't talk to my husband either. Believe it or not, I haven't really had an engaging conversation with him ever! He's not the type who thinks deep. I'm not sure if he chose not to and it's really frustrating.

I can bravely say that after three years of marriage, what's keeping me distracted from this growing frustration are my children. Yes, at times I want to abandon my children too but I love them to bits. Can't say the same about their father.

I guess this is a common challenge to many couples. How does one constantly refreshes his relationship? Sex? It's getting boring too. I used to be such a wild spirit and now I feel like I've been caged in a pet shop.

Sincerely,
modgurl.


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Tuesday, September 06, 2011 @ 9:03 am

Dear Blogger,

My family secret became even more intriguing now that I had heard from all my father's siblings. Still, I find it hard to believe that my father would have done such a thing.

You must be wondering what the hell am I blabbering about the last few days. Sigh. I'm not sure if what I've been hearing since last week even exists in today's modern times! Maybe my readers out there can provide some insight on this.

The story goes that my father got involved in the dark arts. Yes! The dark arts! My father whom I remembered to be strict with religion, was fascinated and eventually practised dark arts. So much so that my mom, my aunties AND my uncles believed that there is some spirit residing in him! I don't even dare tell you what it is for the fear of acknowledging it but I think some of you know what I meant.

The surprising thing was, this wasn't something that he had done in his wild, young days. Apparently he started practising it when I was well in my teenage years! What the hell was he thinking??? What was all that sermon about God Almighty and being pious about when I was growing up??? It just doesn't make any sense to me.

My brothers and I didn't even know about this until about last year. Even then, it was only in whispers and being the modern, rational people that we are, of course it was nonsense! My second brother who had a brush with the mystical aspect of Islam when he was younger was also hesitant to believe it.

The story got more bite when my first brother who's a year younger than me, was hospitalised unexpectedly early this year. Can't remember if I had blogged about it. The official diagnosis was that he had chicken pox. FYI: Chicken pox in adulthood can be deadly. It's common for adults with chicken pox to experience breathlessness and even have fainting spells.

The unofficial story was that whatever that was living in my father's body had made its presence known to my brother, in an attempt to make him its next "carrier" (can't think of a proper word for it, "vessel" perhaps?). Once before he was admitted and twice at the hospital. At the observation room, he told my mom that a woman dressed in white had visited him twice in the room. Of course my mom was spooked! But aren't all the nurses and doctors in the hospital dressed in white??? In his semi-conscious state, my brother could have mistaken the nurses or doctors for something else.

Then I just found out from my husband that my brother had confided in him of the "woman's" appearance before his hospitalization. Soon after, my mom had called a "professional" to clean his room. This "professional" told her that there was certainly a presence but he couldn't get rid of it.

So my question is, if what I've been hearing is true, then why wasn't I affected by it? My husband simply said that I was strong-spirited and invisible beings like those would normally go for people who were "softer" and lesser in faith. He joked that perhaps, IT was even afraid of me. Ha. Ha.

Then, why didn't we feel anything when my parents stayed with us for a few months last year? He said he did feel a bad presence, especially at night, but he didn't tell me because he knew I wouldn't believe him. He finally disclosed that there was one night when Sarah, who was about half a year old then, kept crying in the middle of the night. He got up to comfort her and felt something bad. He told whatever it was to leave his house and he recited some prayers. Then, Sarah stopped crying.

He reassured me that our home is protected. I guess that's comforting to know. I have so many questions about this and I've been googling it. Not surprisingly, many of the related stories and articles are only associated to Malay culture. Why is that? If it has something to do with God's creations, why isn't there Arab tales about it?

Can somebody enlighten me?

Sincerely,
modgurl.


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Saturday, September 03, 2011 @ 10:32 pm

Dear Blogger,

I've discovered a family secret last night that is so horrifying and intriguing that my mind is boggled by it, even till now! I've heard rumours and stories of this family secret for awhile now but I've never considered it worth any grain of salt until I've heard it from my auntie last night. She has more or less confirmed the stories and I'm a little spooked by it.

I'm not sure if I should even blog about it because it seems more fictional than factual. Like straight from an episode of campy but popular "Incredible Tales". But I just can't get it out of my mind! I've been praying and reading the Quran to get some enlightenment, so what else can I do??

Let me think some more whether or not I should reveal this secret.

Sincerely,
modgurl.


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Friday, September 02, 2011 @ 5:27 pm

Dear Blogger,

I feel that this year's Hari Raya Aidilfitri or Eid-ul-Fitr or Lebaran (it has so many names) isn't as celebratory as in previous years. Do you feel it too? Maybe because the day falls on a Tuesday, smack in the middle of a working week. Maybe it's the air of recession gloom warned by every Minister worth listening to. Maybe it's just me, who is tired with 2 children, a job and a teaching diploma to complete. Whatever the reason is, I'm not feeling the festive air.

I've been unproductive since Hari Raya. It felt like years since I lived a couch potato life. It felt nice to not do anything. But me being me, I felt guilty at the end of the day for not being productive. I do have an assignment to do and it's due on Monday! Procrastination has gotten over me.

So Dr Tony Tan won. Not my first choice but life goes on. Nobody expects him or any of the other candidates to produce any wonders to the economy. That's not his job. That's the government's job. Will we have another election in 4 years? I hope so.

Sincerely,
modgurl.


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