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who am i

Name: modgurl
Location: Singapore

New mom. New woman. Born in Singapore. Raised in the World Wide Web.
Thursday, November 05, 2009 @ 12:40 pm

Dear Blogger,

I don't think it's a secret anymore. I bought Ipy a PS3 Slim for his 38th birthday, which is this Saturday. It's wrapped in brown paper (didn't want to waste money buying decorative wrapping paper) and shelved in the store room. He wanted a "Guitar Hero" pack too, but he can get that himself.

I watched the rerun of the first 2 episode of "Sex and the City" first season on HBO last night. Most Singaporeans didn't get to watch the first few seasons of the award-winning show here because our conservative censorship board thought it was too controversial back then. My my... how times have changed.

The first episode was about "having sex like a man". It got me thinking. First of all, what does "having sex like a man" mean? Secondly, is it possible for a woman to do so? I think we can generally agree that not everybody can be Samantha Jones.

I am not an authority to preach about sex these days because I hardly have any now. I've said this before, it's hard to feel sexy when I feel tired most of the time. Even at times when I wanted to, the sex fizzled in under 5 minutes. It was like a touch and go operation. Where's the romance? Where's the foreplay?

The fact that I am no longer my svelte self also does not help. I feel like I am working my body more than before, yet I am not burning the calories as expected. I find it counter-productive for me to tell myself that I look good no matter what body size or shape I'm in.

Besides, why must I be the only one in this relationship concerned about how I look? As a woman and a wife, I must work physically harder to remain attractive while it's OK for my husband, being a man and all, to grow a beer belly? Why is it that women become "unattractive" as she ages while it's the reverse for men?

OK! I'll say it! I'm insecure! There! Which woman isn't?


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