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who am i

Name: modgurl
Location: Singapore

New mom. New woman. Born in Singapore. Raised in the World Wide Web.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009 @ 12:18 am

Dear Blogger,

As I was watching "Sex and the City" (yes, I know I'm very late), a thought occurred to me. Is this what women all over the world aspire to be? Fashion victims despite their intelligence and enviable jobs.

I don't know. Maybe when I was younger i.e. single and available, I was most likely like these women. I meant the women all over the world, not the 4 fashionistas.

I'm afraid I'm turning into a frumpy and dowdy housewife. And I'm not even 30 yet! Alarm bells! Alarm bells!

But what makes me different from the Kimora Lee Simmons of the world is that I am 100% hands-on! I don't have maids to wipe every vomit off the furniture. I don't have nannies to change the stinky diaper off my baby.

If my husband thinks my lack of self-attention is repulsive, I would like him to do what I do for just one day. See if he doesn't turn into a frumpy and dowdy man after that.

Anyway, back to the movie. I have never been able to relate to the series. I think some of the fashion on display were just plain weird. Obviously I can never be fashionably-accepted in the high-brow world of fashion.


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Saturday, October 24, 2009 @ 1:55 am

Dear Blogger,

I think our world is dying. I think our end is near. I am not so much scared as anxious. I just don't want to die in a chaotic state.

It's all these movies about apocalyses that are messing with my mind. I have just watched "Knowing" on DVD. I have to say that it's not a suitable movie to end the day.

Anyway, the movie dealt with end of the world scenario. There's a mix of scientific and religious propaganda disguised as an
action thriller.

Unlike most people, movies will generally get me thinking. I can't shut off like most people. So this movie got me thinking of the apocalypse.

In all of God's religious books, they describe the events of the end of the world as the worst thing imaginable. God already did the flood thing in Noah's time. Can He do it again I wonder.

As of recent years, we have experienced tsunamies. The latest happened in the Pacific islands. Some of us are still recovering from the tragedy in Phuket.

We have also experienced hurricanes and typhoons. Are they the same thing? New Orleans is still rebuilding from Katrina's wrath. Philippine is bracing herself from another attack by typhoon Parma.

Indonesia is earthquake country. Taiwan attracts storms. US and Europe are sick with flu. Mother Earth is sick and God is angry.

Yes my friends. Our world as we know it is dying. That is why I have taken upon myself to begin repenting as much as possible.

Each faith has its own way of repenting. I start mine by making a conscious effort to pray 5 times daily just as God had ordered us to do. I was slacked about it before but now I try to fulfill it as soon as I hear the call of prayer.

I am trying to fulfill the 5 pillars of Islam. That itself is challenging! Daddy always said that if we can't even perfect the "wajib", how can we expect to perfect the "sunnah"? Daddy was right.

Before anyone gets alarmed, I haven't suddenly gone feverishly religious. I am still a moderate Muslim. I still favour rationale over blind faith. It's just that I am more conscious of my purpose here on

I have experienced what I wanted to experience. I am ready to move on. I have no regrets. I pray that it's not too late.

Will Mother Earth recover? Hard to say. Not when man is still self-absorbed. But man being man, we will amend our ways only when calamity struck us.


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Thursday, October 22, 2009 @ 6:20 pm

Dear Blogger,

Have you ever felt like you're in a rut? A marriage rut to be more specific. I am feeling it right now. Oh yeah. I am definitely in a marriage rut.

Sarah is great and all. At times, she tests my patience but she's a baby! What do babies know! It's a learning experience for both of us.

But it's different when dealing with an adult. I don't know if I can describe Ipy as an adult. Adults know what's right or wrong. Adults know what needs to be done. Adults learn from mistakes and don't do them anymore.

Ipy... What can I say about him? Sarah is so much smarter than him and she hasn't even gone to school yet! Ipy is just like another child, only not so innocent.

I just don't get it with him. He's a totally different person at work. He doesn't procrastinate as much and he doesn't annoy people as much.

But when he's home, why must he make me nag constantly so as to get some work done? I don't like to nag! But I'm forced to! It really irritates me to my bone to see him do things which he knows I hate.

Like a simple act of refilling the ice tray when you've used up all the ice. Or throwing away candy wrappers in the TRASH CAN, not under the rug or cushion! These are not difficult things to do, so why doesn't he do them?

I tell you why. He's plain lazy and spoilt rotten! Almost all his life, he has had somebody to clear his mess. And now, he expects me to it too??? Oh no I will not! I may be his wife, but I'm not his maid!

Are all husbands like this? Why? Why? Why? Whose fault is this? God! If I knew I was marrying into servitude, I would't get married in the first place!

By the way, Sarah is growing up so fast! I miss the days when she was just a tiny tot in my arms. Much, much smaller and much, much lighter.

Also, please donate to Red Cross to help the victims of the recent natural disasters is Indonesia, Philippines and Taiwan. It is the least we can do.

I am blessed to be living in a disaster-free zone.


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Tuesday, October 13, 2009 @ 12:22 pm

Dear Blogger,

Ipy has flown off to Brunei again. He only came home last week! But I've resigned myself to the fact that it's his job. I'm no longer angsty about it. Besides, he's been worried about his quickly-depleting cash flow. So, these offshore trips should lessen his financial woes for awhile.

I've been busy with my knitting hobby. I haven't knit in a long time so I thought it's about time I refresh my skills. My attempt at knitting a beanie hat wasn't so pretty. Wearable but pretty. It was good practice though.

I am now knitting a pair of girl's shoes. I tried knitting those a couple of months back but I couldn't even hold the needles right. Now that I'm better at knitting, the shoes are starting to come out right.

I've been watching my diet too. My food diary is updated daily. I weigh myself every morning. I even went jogging a couple of days ago! I'm still feeling the aching on my left leg. Don't know why. Maybe it just means that I'm really too heavy.

I want to join a fitness group like brisk walking or something, but there isn't one that's really active around here. That's the thing with interest groups. It starts well but fades off pretty quickly.

Sarah is almost predictable now. It's easier to schedule my work around her habits now. As mean as it may sounds, I think it's so much easier to manage her when Ipy's not around. In fact, when he was in Brunei for 2 weeks, I did more work than when he was at home!


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Friday, October 02, 2009 @ 1:57 pm

Dear Blogger,

I hope it's not too late. Selamat Hari Raya to all Muslims! I didn't manage to complete all 30 days of fasting. I had to forfeit a day because of a gynaecological appointment.

We didn't spend much for Hari Raya this year. My biggest expense was on flowers. Who knew that a bunch of sticks and twigs could cost over $10 a pack??? As planned, we wore what we have in our wardrobe.

Ipy left for Brunei on the 4th day of Hari Raya. Instantly, my required visitations to my relatives house was over. I don't believe in celebrating Hari Raya for a month anyway. The longest I'll accomodate is 2 weeks.

I had planned an open house during this period but it had to be shelved because of Ipy's work commitment. I thought it would be nice to have a housewarming during this festive season.


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