modgurl's
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who am i

Name: modgurl
Location: Singapore

New mom. New woman. Born in Singapore. Raised in the World Wide Web.
Thursday, July 30, 2009 @ 1:23 pm

Dear Blogger,

I seriously give up on the older generation. Keep on doing what they've always been doing. Fine by me! But I don't want to have any of it in my household!

I try so hard to meet in the middle of this generation gap. I try so hard not to be rude to the elderly. But it's just so goddamn difficult!

I left Sarah alone for a minute and already they're squeezing juices out of her nipples! Whatever for?! They didn't even bother explaining to me what they were doing and why they were doing it! Poor Sarah was crying in pain.

I was too upset to make a sound after that. I'm letting Ipy handle this because he's better at dealing with the elderly. I told him I'd rather bathe and nurse my own child than let anyone else do it. Why should anybody else do it???

If the whole purpose of hiring a confinement nanny is to relieve me of my daily chores, then why the hell am I still doing the laundry and washing up the dishes??? I don't need someone to just look at the baby!

This experience has been nothing but stressful for me. Now that I've experienced it, NO MORE!!!

Sincerely,
modgurl.

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Tuesday, July 28, 2009 @ 8:32 pm

Dear Blogger,

I'm back on my food diary. I think it's about time I track what I eat anyway. Not that there's much to track. I've been eating nothing but vegetable soup. It doesn't matter what vegetables go into the soup. It's just vegetables, vegetables, vegetables.

The almost-vegetarian diet is supposed to help with my constipation. It's not helping. I've been having a hard time clearing my bowels ever since I went into labour. My stools are so hard that I feel like I'm pushing out another baby down there.

I'm also tweetering now. I was hesitant to join the Twitter bandwagon because I felt like there were way too many of these sites now i.e. Facebook, MySpace, Friendster etc. I was just bored today breastfeeding Sarah non-stop, so I joined Twitter.

I've also updated my Facebook account. This was another site which I was hesitant to join. I've already got Friendster and I had painstakingly customised the site. I had registered for Facebook a while back. It's just that I didn't bother to personalise it. Now that I have so much time with little to do except feed Sarah, I spruced up my Facebook account.

I really hate being confined. I understand that this is the time for new mothers to rest, but are the traditional practices still relevant in today's age??? I had to seal my mouth tight whenever I was "advised" against doing certain things. I was even "advised" against bathing my own baby!

I told Ipy that the nanny wanted to scratch the white spots off Sarah's face. She would have if I hadn't stopped her. My mother too couldn't leave her itchy fingers alone! Sarah's paediatrician had clearly said to leave the white spots alone. Yet, these women think they can do whatever they want to MY baby just because they had done the same to their children and grandchildren!

I thought having a confinement nanny was supposed to relieve me of my daily household chores. It was not to be. I get even more stressed out watching her handle my baby. Of course, not all the things she had done were bad. She's a nice, well-meaning person after all. This is just a matter of difference in opinions and mentality that's all.

Sincerely,
modgurl.

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Sunday, July 26, 2009 @ 7:59 pm

Dear Blogger,

She's growing up so fast, and she's only a week old! She has grown stronger and taller. Her legs are quite strong, although her feet are a little off the correct angle. Her physiotherapist said it isn't something to worry too much about. It can be rectified with a few simple exercises.

Her umbilical cord has just dropped off. I don't know why it has to be kept. Nobody seemed to be able to give me a credible answer when I asked why. "Because it has always been done" isn't a good answer for me.

Just like this traditional massage and wrapping practice. I don't mind so much about the massage. It's the wrap and jamu that bothers me. I was almost glad that I developed itchy rashes on my body. I have my doctor's advice to stop the wrap and jamu till the rashes go away.

I googled post-partum rash and even though it's a fairly common ailment, the medical practitioners have yet to find out why and what causes it. That just means there's no remedy for this rash! Some attributed it to hormonal changes. I don't really care why as long as I have an excuse to forgo the wrap and jamu.

Calamine lotion may help to relieve the itchiness, but it's only temporary. My doctor prescribed me an anti-fungal and anti-inflammatory cream as well as an antihistamine medication. The itchiness has stopped, as long as I don't get hot and perspire. Perspiration will ignite the unbearable itchiness.

I can't wait to go out and exercise again. I'll be officially confined next week and I know for sure I'll be bored. The nanny is a relative of Ipy's and she's very, very old but very, very active. One only knows how old people can be. So many "rules and regulation"! I will probably be confined to bed till Ipy comes home.

I bought Fenugreek supplements at GNC yesterday because I read that Fenugreek is good for increasing the body's milk supply. I have to say that after taking a couple of capsules last night, more milk has flowed. I was able to express about 30ml of breast milk at one time. Today, I was able to satiate her without formula milk! Hooray!

Tonight, Liverpool is playing against our national team. I pity our national team. No one's out at the stadium to support our boys. I think South-east Asian folks are suckers for English teams. What happened to national pride and loyalty? Oh yeah that's right. We have to buy foreign players to play for our national team!

Sincerely,
modgurl.

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Tuesday, July 21, 2009 @ 9:07 pm

Dear Blogger,

How fast our lives have changed. It's no longer just about him and me. It's now all about her, our 3.5kg dynamite. She may have some of her daddy's physical appearance (hair and nose), but she definitely has her mommy's spirit!

I have finally gotten the hang of breastfeeding. Milk has finally flowed but I still need formula milk to supplement her feed. It's kind of depressing knowing that I can't fully feed my baby.

Ipy meanwhile, has stressed himself silly. He's become too protective of his little princess. I guess that's natural of first-time dads. He's a good one at least. He does all the baby stuff without asking. Even getting up at 3 in the morning to make the baby's milk!

Now that I'm recovering, he also does the chores like laundry and cooking. He's careful not to make any mess lest I get up and clean the mess.


Welcome to the world baby Sarah!

Sincerely,
modgurl.

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Saturday, July 18, 2009 @ 4:55 am

Dear Blogger,

Thank god for epidurals!!! The actual delivery took less than an hour. I couldn't imagine doing all that pushing with all the pain of contractions. That would just flatten me out completely halfway through the delivery!

It's not to say that the whole process isn't exhausting still.
If not careful, one can literally burst a blood vein in the head! Headaches after a delivery are seriously not a comfortable feeling.

So is vomiting! That's one of the side effects of epidurals. I vomitted my stomach contents out so many times that the whole room lingered with the smell of vomit hours after I've been transferred to my ward.

I finally had my dinner. Very filling dinner. Now I can't wait for breakfast. I'm starving!

I'm desperate to get my blood and milk flow going. Twice I tried to breastfeed the baby but sadly, no milk was flowing yet. I've been massaging my breasts relentlessly to get the juices flowing. I always thought that breastfeeding comes naturally but I guess it's not. It's just another skill to learn.

Sincerely,
modgurl.

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Friday, July 17, 2009 @ 3:30 pm

Dear Blogger,

We are still waiting and I'm getting bored. I know I shouldn't be because there's TV with cable, radio and I've brought me PSP. It sucks that I can't get out of bed. My whole body is numb with the epidural.

Worse of all, I'm not allowed to eat! I should have stuffed more Filet-O-Fish in my stomach this morning. Oh well... I guess a little discomfort is better than pain.

It's close to 4pm now. My cervix has only dilated to 5cm. Still a long way to go...

Sincerely,
modgurl

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@ 10:51 am

Dear Blogger,

I just had an epidural injected in me. How ironic then that the injection hurt! I didn't know that the needle was going to be inserted in my spine! The thought itself was scary!

Now my legs and toes feel funny. Like they're there but not there. Like they're floating. I wondered if this was how taking marijuana felt like. Ipy said it wasn't. I guess he should know what with his wild university days and all.

Now I'm supposed to wait, relax and conserve energy. It's going to be a long, long wait. The nurse said I was already having contractions even before I had the epidural. Strangely, I didn't feel them.

I'm trying to sleep but it's hard considering that it's about noon already. My body's not used to taking naps at these hours, no matter how tired I am.

I can't even get out of bed with all these tubes inserted in different parts of my body. I don't know how Ipy does it. That man can sleep anytime anywhere!

Sincerely,
modgurl.

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@ 6:44 am

Dear Blogger,

So this it is. Today is the day. We woke up before dawn so that we could have breakfast before I checked in at the hospital at 8am.

We're having breakfast at the only place we know that's open at this hour; McDonald's. Imagine that! The day I'm going to give birth to our first child and my special breakfast is a set of Filet-O-Fish meal.

I'm still feeling a little "unawake". I haven't woken up this early since... before our wedding day! So all this early morning darkness is still unreal to me.

I'm feeling a little anxious actually. I am so not looking forward to the pain I keep hearing about. Even my doctor suggested I get an epidural! It's a very tempting offer right now.

I should finish my breakfast. God knows how's the morning traffic is like to Raffles Hospital.

Sincerely,
modgurl.

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Saturday, July 11, 2009 @ 11:00 pm

Dear Blogger,

Been busy, busy, busy setting up the baby room. Actually, the baby room has always been available. It's just that we've been dumping our baby purchases in there till it looked more like a storage room than a baby room.

I've finally cleaned, cleared and organised the baby room. We've had almost everything that has been recommended in most "basic" baby list on the Internet. Somehow, it feels like something's missing or isn't enough. But we have to be practical and not be sucked into buying things just because they look cute or they seem like a must-have. We don't exactly have a bottomless cash pit here.

The only thing left to do is to pack my bag for the hospital trip. It's really coming to an end soon, isn't it? It's already the 38th week! I haven't felt any contractions yet though. We're beginning to think that the baby doesn't want to come out!

That was fine by me because I don't think I'm really ready to go through the actual birth itself. The closer it gets, the more I'm considering getting an epidural. I know I'm being silly. I shouldn't let all those talk of how painful normal birth is get to me. Mothers before me didn't get epidurals and they have had multiple births.

But this morning, we were told that I would go into labour next Friday by the gynae. It wasn't so much about what she said. It was how she said it that that took us awhile for the info to sink in.

"Let's do another check-up on Thursday, then we can go for delivery on Friday."

She said it so casually that it sounded like it was just another lunch set-up! Ipy was in shock the whole day. I know because he kept driving in circles.

In his typical male mind, he thought that I would experience some contractions or my water bag would burst while he was at work and I'd call him to tell him that I was on my way to the hospital and he'd rush to the labour suite in all his work-clothes glory.

He didn't expect the "action" to be THIS planned. Well... What did he expect after 38 weeks of pregnancy? At least I know for sure that I'll be heading to the hospital next Friday. I don't really like unpleasant surprises.

Sincerely,
modgurl.

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