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who am i

Name: modgurl
Location: Singapore

New mom. New woman. Born in Singapore. Raised in the World Wide Web.
Tuesday, August 05, 2008 @ 11:06 pm

Dear Blogger,

I was appalled when I read the newspapers recently. "I don't want to have any more children", the headline screamed. It was about a local woman who was fired from her job at local SME when she was about six months pregnant.

As usual, companies like that gave all sorts of excuses for the firing. "Poor performance" was my favourite, followed by "cost-cutting measure". But we all know that the company was too cheapskate to pay for maternity benefits.

Anyway, I wasn't revolted because of that. I was dismayed by the woman's admission that she didn't want any more children because she was fired from her job. I know that to be fired from a job can be traumatising, and job hunting even more so.

But why blame children for that? If a company can't see your worth beyond the burgeoning belly, then it's not worth a company to slave over. Even if it pays you $5,000 per month!

In another related story, it was no surprise that most Singaporean working women surveyed wanted their husbands to help more at home. It's just not enough for a man to bring home the dough anymore. He has to help raise his children. It's still his family after all.

Some men I know even expect their wives to work AND still be a wife and mother! I always feel like kicking him in the nuts if I meet such a man. Men like that are usually mommy's boys. I may be generalising it, but I don't think it's just mere coincidence that the men I've met were mommy's boys too.

I'm lucky that Ipy gives me choices instead of shoving conservative responsibilities down my throat. But it's still early stage. His mindset could change after we get married. Some men change after marriage. Not necessarily for the better sometimes.

I'll work because I want to, not because I'm expected to. We'll both be miserable if we have to live up to each other's expectations. Before you can say "irreconcilable differences", we'll be seeing our lawyers more than we see each other.

Sincerely,
modgurl.

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