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who am i

Name: modgurl
Location: Singapore

New mom. New woman. Born in Singapore. Raised in the World Wide Web.
Friday, June 06, 2008 @ 3:16 pm

Dear Blogger,

The stress is getting on to me. On some days, I couldn't sleep at all. On other days, I wanted to do nothing but sleep the whole day! Eating has become crazy. Just yesterday, I had McDonald's twice in a day! I rarely eat fast food!

I eat more than I should. Even when I'm not hungry! So, I usually end up spending more time in the toilet right after eating. After years of induced vomiting, my fingers can really go deep down my throat now.

Oprah Winfrey once said in her magazine, if her viewers see her weight yo-yo-ing, that just means that she is not managing her life as well as she should. I do agree with her. When you can't manage your health, you can't manage everything else in your life.

Besides the wedding and situation at home, my vagina is now giving me undesirable thoughts. For the past 10 months or so, I have been bleeding during sex. It must have been during the act itself because I wasn't bleeding afterwards. Even then, I only knew about it the morning via the stained bed sheets.

Until now, I had only assumed that the blood stains were just residue from my menses, released only when rubbed against. I had been meaning to consult my gynaecologist about it, but other matters seemed to take priority over it.

When I finally did last evening, my gynaecologist couldn't even conclude with a diagnosis. We had to wait for the pap smear results 2 weeks later to find out. The preliminary examination didn't show any signs of polyps or growth in my cervix. So that was good I guess.

However, it did show an area of "erosion of the cervix wall" which had probably caused the bleeding upon contact. What caused the erosion? My gyneacologist did not want to speculate till the pap smear results have been released.

I know what everyone is thinking. Not to burst Ipy's perverted ego, but he is one of the gentlest guy I have ever made out with. He is also... err... quite Singaporean average... in that department. I have experienced crazier things before.

All of this just nails the fact that I'm not a young 20 year old anymore. Just last Wednesday, our night of revelry at The Arena at Clarke Quay didn't even pass the midnight hour. I was tired, woozy and I wanted to sleep.

To think, just barely 2 years ago, I could have danced and drank all night, and still go to work (or school) with an alert mind! Have I really aged that much???

Do not be fooled. That is a tired smile

Pecan tart from Marriot Hotel pastry shop (Ipy calls it 'pelican' tart)

At The Arena at Clarke Quay

The crowd wasn't as young as I was led to believe, but it must have been a navy night or something. There were way too many 'brothers' there. Ipy was naturally insecure because they were taller than him.

It was Ladies Night though. Free entry and free flow vodka and lychee martini for the girls. As with all Ladies Night promo, the free flow drinks were really more juice than poison. It was more worth it to pay for good drinks than join the long queue for abysmal thirst quenchers.

Supper at Hooters

Ipy, all cheesy grin, with a Hooters girl

So this was Hooters... Hard Rock Cafe with 80's style gym wear instead of live bands. Men are so easy to please.


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