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who am i

Name: modgurl
Location: Singapore

New mom. New woman. Born in Singapore. Raised in the World Wide Web.
Monday, May 12, 2008 @ 9:29 pm

Dear Blogger,

Some people have the resources to do whatever they want. That's fine by me. Some people don't have the resources they thought they have to do whatever they want, and they do it anyway. That's fine by me too. As long as they don't involve me.

Ipy is a much more compulsive shopper than most women I know. He even proudly acknowledges it! That blot in his character wouldn't bother me at all. When I'm not marrying him. He can spend his hard-earned money on anything he likes for all I care. But only when I'm not marrying him.

Everyone has weaknesses. Everyone has responsibilities too. Somehow, it's easier and more fun to succumb to weaknesses than to be engaged in responsibilities. Responsibilities are such a chore!

Hey! Who wouldn't want to trade in their still-functional mobile phones every month for a newer model with newer features like an unused video call function? Or a new pair of overly-priced, made by Chinese or Vietnamese child labour Nike or Adidas trainers every time you're inspired to run 2km along East Coast Park?

"I want to get this gate that scans fingerprints. It's only $700!"

"I want to order a pair of Oakley glasses with Transition lenses. Because it's so cool!"

"I want to buy a double-door refrigerator big enough to fit 2 adult bodies. So I can store all my snacks and junk food, even though I'm hardly at home to finish them all!"

"I want to buy this! I want to buy that! Buy! Buy! Buy!"

Sounds like a woman? No. A child maybe? No. That's the sound of Ipy, synonymous with the sound of cash registers ringing. If you're looking for him in the middle of the night, try Mustafa Centre. On weekends, try Sim Lim Square.

I've given up rationalising with his compulsive spending habits. It's really tiring to manage his financial indiscipline. The last straw?

"Let's buy rice cooker or kettle or ironing board now, so I won't spend on wasteful things."

Hmm... Before house renovations even started? Oh... Let's not even go to the renovations!

You know, I would love to go on a shopping spree with no responsibility or commitment whatsoever. I used to be able to do that. I can do so now too! But I can't! Why? Because I have responsibilities!

I'm responsible for ensuring there's always food in the house. I'm responsible for reducing debts as much as possible. I'm responsible for my children's future!

I depend on him to be discipline. I need him to be discipline! Does he think I like to behave like this? No I don't! Nobody wants to be burdened by insecurities, but my shoulders already are!

I feel like I'm being tied to a big boy than a learning man. I am awfully tired caring for this big boy. It ages me significantly.


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