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who am i

Name: modgurl
Location: Singapore

New mom. New woman. Born in Singapore. Raised in the World Wide Web.
Friday, February 15, 2008 @ 11:46 pm

Dear Blogger,

I was still upset and disappointed with Ipy's actions. Even though he waited for me at my block last night, I refused to see him, hear him nor speak to him! He had become invisible to me. That's what happens when I'm enraged with someone. I obliterate him from all my senses!

Only HE should be responsible on how to manage his job! I can't do that for him! Even if I could, and (God forbid!) want to, what kind of person would he be if he allowed me to? I've compromised several times about this work issue. So why does he still go against this truce???

The rage and discontent was eating me up. Even in the wee hours of the morning! So at the break of dawn, I ran. And ran. And ran. I never liked running. But at that furious state, I felt like I could fly in my Adizero shoes. My heart started to beat faster and my lungs were sucking in oxygen in gasps.

I thought I was going to collapse, but they began to operate in momentum. Like rhythms of a simple pop music. I was running! I was running longer and steadier since my last 2.4km run during secondary school days. That was almost 15 years ago! I've never felt more accomplished than today.

Of course, I had expected to feel the aftermath of that run tomorrow. Aching bones and sore muscles. The signs of an aging and unfit body. I can't expect to be a marathon runner after just one run can I?

The bouquet of dozen red roses Ipy surprised me with on Valentine's Day

The teddy bear that came with the bouquet

The corny and mushy love message in the card (sounded like something from a Hallmark card)

By night fall, I was feeling mentally-drained from a whole day of work-related activities. I had suspected that it was more because of the negativisms in me rather than the actual workload that was wearing me out. (Note to self: Borrow "Women Who Think Too Much: How To Break Of Overthinking And Reclaim Your Life" by Dr Susan Nolen-Hoeksema").

So I burst the ego bubble and opted for a reconciliation. I called him in India. Anyone who's ever as hard-headed and hard-hearted like me knows that to voluntarily bring out the olive branch, is an act of courage. With that act alone, the ills of negativism disintegrated into the still air of the night.


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