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who am i

Name: modgurl
Location: Singapore

New mom. New woman. Born in Singapore. Raised in the World Wide Web.
Thursday, January 10, 2008 @ 11:16 pm

Dear Blogger,

One minute, I was watching Ellen on TV, the next minute I was tutoring pampered kids who'll do what they're told only when you tell them they're the smartest children in the world. Where has the time gone?

The thought that I'll be married and going on to the third decade of my life has zipped through my brain at varying degrees of frequency. I've realised that now that I'm in my last few years of being in the 20s group, my priorities in life have shifted from shallow materialism to ethereal divine hood. Now why is that?

Am I nearing death? Am I trying to score as much points with God before the white sails of lost souls dock in my backyard? I fear Judgement Day like most religion-bred mortals, but I seriously doubt that was why I'm seeking heavenly brownie points.

I guess I was seeking some sort of nirvana. I guess many people do so at one point in their lives. My life or at least my mind, has been in turmoil for so many years. All that thinking is very exhausting you know. At times, I can't even differentiate between my imagination and reality! It's like that movie, "Stranger Than Fiction"!

That said, I have to resolve certain issues in my life. Close certain loops if I can put it that way. I've come to accept that my past will never go away. It is my history after all. A bestselling volume in an unfinished series.

What could I do if those in my past won't let go? I can only change myself right? I'll just tell them that I forgive them. If God can be forgiving, what more is a mere creation of His?

Sincerely,
modgurl.

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