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who am i

Name: modgurl
Location: Singapore

New mom. New woman. Born in Singapore. Raised in the World Wide Web.
Sunday, October 21, 2007 @ 9:37 pm

Dear Blogger,

I've finally completed my fast for the month of Ramadan. So I don't owe God any fast. Not that I know of anyway. But lately, the food that I've broken my fast with have been unglamorously "discarded" in the toilet bowl. Emotional and binge eating have always been a problem which I've not completely dealt with. I suspected that it's only because I found some relief in induced vomiting. Not just physically, but psychologically too.

Let's hope I don't binge eat during the lunch buffet tomorrow. We're no longer going to have fish head curry. One of my colleagues can't take spicy food. How can anyone not take spicy food is beyond me. Instead, we're going to try out the North Indian restaurant at Peninsula Plaza. So my craving for fish head curry still stays.

I've been thinking of family planning too! If I wanted to have 5 kids, I should really start procreating right after we get married. But if I'm going to start my career soon, how can I manage that without going depressingly crazy? Part of me thinks that it would be nice to not dwell too much on a career, and instead focus on being a homemaker. Just like the ladies of Wisteria Lane!

I just don't know if I can deal with the green-eyed monster in me when I meet my peers with careers. It would be wonderful to have everything wouldn't it? But who am I kidding? I know myself well enough now that I can't have the whole cake and eat it too.

I know that if Ipy and I were to have this discussion, it'd still be me to make the decision. His role is so clear-cut and defined that there are really no questions about it! But women have all these choices right now, and each has its merits. But sadly, being a homemaker isn't an outspokenly proud "career" choice.


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