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who am i

Name: modgurl
Location: Singapore

New mom. New woman. Born in Singapore. Raised in the World Wide Web.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007 @ 10:21 pm

Dear Blogger,

Despite my mother's irrational tantrums, I'm adamant to have nothing to do with my dad's therapy. I've completely washed my hands of it. She's just afraid that with me gone, there'll be no one around to ferry my dad here and there. Well, she'll just have to learn to deal with it without me now.

Besides, she has explicitly said that she only appreciates those who have contributed financially to the household i.e. her sons! Since my time and energy all this time didn't mean anything to her, why should I continue to bother? I've had family shit thrown at me for so long now, so why is this any different?

It is different because I'm certain, more so than before, that I'm finally leaving this wretched place! Then it got me thinking... Am I using Ipy as my means of escape? All the other doubts naturally followed suit. Is he doing this on a rebound? Is he forcing commitment because age is catching up with him? Does he even know what he's getting himself into?

Even after talking to him about it, I'm still not sure. C'mon seriously! Which guy in his sanest mind would want to spend the rest of his mortal life with me??? He would just have to experience one of my moody days and he'd bolt out of the door faster than I could say "pre-menstrual symptoms"!

But he was very sweet. I know he's not having the most blissful of times with me. That is exactly why a part of me doesn't want to proceed any further! Self-inflicted pain is a treat compared to making him miserable with all my mind-boggling antics.

Why is he so crazy about me? My only answer to that is because I'm such a weirdo that he finds it refreshing to be with! But that novelty will wear off eventually! Oh God! It's like an episode of "Dharma and Greg" except without the kooky hippy factor!

I am so twisted aren't I? Maybe it's time to give the psychotherapist a call. It's about time too. I've been "sane" far too long. The "happy" drug is wearing out.


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