modgurl's
blog*spot
posts are personal. open-mindedness is essential.
who am i

Name: modgurl
Location: Singapore

New mom. New woman. Born in Singapore. Raised in the World Wide Web.
Monday, April 30, 2007 @ 11:44 pm

Dear Blogger,

Dens sapientiae or commonly known wisdom tooth was thought to be called as such because it appeared at a later age where people were supposed to be wiser than a child. Because of that, according to my dentist, it was both an asset and a liability.

I had to get my left wisdom tooth extracted because it had somehow broken into half. It broke in February, but I didn't think much of it. It didn't even hurt, not even when I was at the dentist chair. I only had it removed because I suddenly felt like visiting the dentist after 15 years. I'm odd, I know.

I've been told by everybody that this extraction would hurt, and often you'd get a week's worth of sick leave. I couldn't understand why. The only pain I felt during the procedure was when the dentist inject anaesthesia three times in my gums, cheeks and tongue. Even then, it was as painful as an insect's bite.

I asked the dentist if I could film the procedure, but of course my request was rejected. I'm probably one of the few who has no fears of dentists or the dreaded drill. I kind of enjoyed it actually. My only disappointment was that I was not able to film the whole procedure.

I think my dentist thought that I was some sick person who had a thing for pain. Seriously, I didn't feel any pain at all! I had actually hoped that the procedure would go for hours, but it only lasted 45 minutes. My tolerance level must be whacked!

The bourbon coke last night might have helped too. But I felt that it was more coke than bourbon! That's what you get from bottled liquors. It all started with teh tarik at Lau Pa Sat. Teh tarik with no sugar. It didn't taste as good, but I couldn't drink the normal version either. It was too sweet!


Teh tarik at Lau Pa Sat

Then my friends and I moved on to harder drinks because it was getting boring. We parked ourselves by the Singapore river and they started discussing local conspiracy theories. What is it with conspiracy theories that grip people to near obsession??? I'm not much into idle chat so I just kept quiet and drank the night away. Uncharacteristically me? Yes, it was.


Fullerton hotel at night


By the Singapore River, Boat Quay

Sincerely,
modgurl.

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Sunday, April 29, 2007 @ 11:12 pm

Dear Blogger,

What is it with some men and long hair? Some women find it sexy. I find it a turn off. Men should have short, cropped hair. It's practical and they look smart that way. Like Gerard Butler in "300"! Then again, how many men can look and have awesome lick-worthy body like Gerard Butler???


Yummy!

Remember Michael Bolton? Women all over the world swoon over his ballads and mane. Now that he had chopped it all off, I think he looked much, much better and neater. His music career might be almost non-existent, but at least he looked better. Desperate Housewife's Nicolette Sheriden sure thinks so, considering she's engaged to him now.

There was Brad Pitt too. I thought he looked like a sissy in "Legends of the Falls". No horse-riding, cowbow-hat-wearing rancher has long, soft, flowing hair like that! Post-"Legend of the Falls", the age of "Seven" and "Fight Club", that's when I started noticing the Brad Pitt. Leave the long hair to Angelina Jolie.

I've just watched "Little Miss Sunshine". Quirky indie movie. That's why I love indie movies. There's no Hollywood pretentiousness about them. I love watching Toni Colette on screen. She exploded on screen with "Muriel's Wedding" and into our consciousness in "The Sixth Sense".



I also love Steve Carrell. "The 40 Year Old Virgin" star is definitely more talented than Jim Carrey. I like his deadpan humour. He's like the American version of Rowan Atkinson. Blackadder, not Mr Bean! Mr Bean was funny the first time, but not when you have to watch it again and again.

Anyway, this movie was about a family's attempt to take their cute daughter to the "Little Miss Sunshine" pageant in LA. They couldn't afford to fly there, so they went on a road trip across state. The vehicle of choice was the bright yellow VW van. It was itself a central character in the movie.

Sincerely,
modgurl.

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Friday, April 27, 2007 @ 9:21 pm

Dear Blogger,

The good thing about my new phone is that whenever I'm bored, I can always snap, snap, snap pictures of inane things without worrying about memory space or mms costs. Like this picture of my well-worn 10-year-old loafers.


My super-rugged loafers

None of my shoes last that long except for my Nike cross-country trainers. But that's only because I don't wear them often unless it's to the gym (which I've been ignoring lately) or to nature trails.

I may wear them again when I go Pulau Ubin next week. Believe it or not, I've never been there! In my school-uniformed days, I never had the chance to go there, despite owning an adventurous soul. School librarians didn't do Pulau Ubin. School librarians did libraries.

I've to take Daddy to the hospital for his check-up today. Mommy usually does that. But this time she insisted that I come along because she couldn't really understand what the doctor was trying to tell her. The problem about being her translator is that I find it hard to translate the discussion into a language which she understands, namely, Bahasa Melayu.

Even when we're speaking the same language, there's always a communication breakdown somewhere. Often, it's tough to dumb down your language proficiency. Same goes with my friends. I've already been mocked at for my accent almost all my life. Now, I've to be mocked at for being too chim. I shouldn't even give a damn.

Anyway, Daddy's ambulance was late. An hour late. We were late for his appointment. Therefore, more waiting. I may be a procrastinator, but I hate to wait. I can't be bored remember? Furthermore, it was raining cats and dogs today! My feet were soaked the whole afternoon, but I had to bear with it because I didn't want to spend money on buying a pair of flip flops or shoes.




My neighbourhood

Daddy's doctor has finally approved on a prosthetic leg for Daddy, but it's going to cost a few thousand dollars. I don't know where we are going to get that kind of money. Maybe Mommy can auction off her furniture pieces she just bought.

Since my feet were already wet, I thought why not just walked to Eastpoint Shopping Mall, in the rain! I left Daddy with Mommy after the consultation and bravely walked in the downpour. Dropped by VideoEzy and rented five DVDs. First time I had visited the outlet here, and already I was flirting with the service staff.


Walnut something, Mocha Almond and Strawberry Supreme with peanut toppings from New Zealand Natural Ice Cream Eastpoint

Sincerely,
modgurl.

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Wednesday, April 25, 2007 @ 8:42 pm

Dear Blogger,

Despite being in the company of Brad, Leo, Matt and Heath in the last two weeks, I've realised once again, that I'm lonely still. Words simply cannot describe this feeling of loneliness. What do I have to do to get rid of this horrible feeling? Make myself available to my family and friends? I've always have, but the question is, are they making themselves available for me?

I was thinking of death again. Wasn't something that I had wanted to think about. What good have I done with my presence? I couldn't think of any at the moment. I know I must have contributed something or at least make someone happy, but I couldn't think of anything.


Sleeping beauty

Closer - Travis



I've had enough, of this parade.
I'm thinking of, the words to say.
We open up, unfinished parts,
Broken up, its so mellow.

And when I see you
then I know it will be next to me
And when I need you
then I know you will be there with me
I'll never leave you...

Just need to get closer, closer,
Lean on me now,
Lean on me now,
Closer, closer,
Lean on me now,
Lean on me now.

Keep waking up (waking up),
without you here (without you here).
Another day (another day),
another year (another year).
I seek the truth (seek the truth),
we set apart (we set apart)
Thinking of a second chance (a second chance).

And when I see you
then I know it will be next to me
And when I need you
then I know you will be there with me
I'll never leave you...

Just need to get closer, closer,
Lean on me now,
Lean on me now,
Closer, closer,
Lean on me now,
Lean on me now (lean on me now).

And when I see you
then I know it will be next to me
And when I need you
then I know you will be there with me
I'll never leave you...

Just need to get closer, closer,
Lean on me now,
Lean on me now,
Closer, closer,
Lean on me now,
Lean on me now (lean on me now).

Closer, closer... Closer, closer.

Sincerely,
modgurl.

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Tuesday, April 24, 2007 @ 5:19 pm

Dear Blogger,

I was feeling domestic today, so I made popiah (springrolls). Not the usual kind with vege and/or spiced potatoes. Those fillings were too troublesome for a lazy cook like me. I surfed for recipes last night, and came across Quick 'n' Easy Treats From Zu's Kitchen blogsite. It had a recipe on Tuna Springroll and I thought that was really cool! So I filled my popiah with chilli tuna flakes! I added more ingredients though. Who says I can't use tuna or sardines or fruits or whatever as fillings???


Chili tuna flakes
Carrots (sliced)
Potatoes (diced)
Mixed vegetables


Steamed the vegetables, then mix into the tuna filling.
Egg wash.


Scoop about a teaspoon and a half of the filling onto the popiah skin. Use more if the skin is bigger. Roll it up or fold or whatever shape you want it to be.


Deep fry for less than a minute.


Finally, enjoy it!

I've also watched "Babel" today. It was interesting how people from different walks of life and living in different parts of the world could be connected by a single event. Just shows how small our bloody world is! It was a movie about the importance of communication and tolerance, especially since it involved multi-cultural ties.

Brad Pitt and Cate Blanchett aside, I thought Rinko Kikuchi who played Chieko, a deaf-mute Japanese girl, was a standout! Not just because she was full-frontal naked in most of her screen time, but because even without words, she expressed herself so well that I could almost hear her speak of her pain from being a deaf-mute to her mother's suicide. On a sidenote, what is it with Japanese girls and bushy pubics???



Last night, I watched "The Exorcism of Emily Rose". I remembered wanting to watch it in the cinema when it first came out, but none of my friends were brave enough to watch it. It's a movie for God's sake! It's not even "The Exorcist"! There were some scary scenes but nothing like "The Exorcist". Mostly body and voice contortions. What was intriguing about the story was the courtroom drama of the prosecution of the priest who performed a failed exorcism on Emily Rose.

The bad thing about watching a horror movie alone at night is that your mind keeps playing the scary scenes over and over again in your head. So I watched "The Queen" to distract myself. Not a bad choice in fact! Excellent movie! Helen Mirren deserved all the awards she had won for this role.

I really couldn't imagine anyone else playing Queen Elizabeth II because Dame Mirren really looked like her! Considering that this movie didn't really follow the usual movie guidelines i.e. handsome lead actor, beautiful lead actress, hero, villain, love story, etc... there wasn't much distraction.



It was a simple story, and we all know what inspired the movie. How can we all forget the massive outpouring of grief when Diana died? Silly as it seems now. But what amused me was how adamant Tony Blair (Michael Sheen) in the movie was, to "humanise" the Royal family. I didn't really expect a Labour Prime Minister to have that kind of affection for the monarchy.

Then I realised that, like everybody else, Queen E and family reacted the way they did because that was the dignified thing to do! I mean, they were grieving like everybody else. But they chose to do it privately, because they were mourning for the Diana they knew in private. The rest of us mourned for the Diana we knew from all the press coverage she had cleverly utilised.

Singapore may not be a British colony anymore and the Royal family may seem archaic, but can anyone imagine a republic Britain??? I see the monarchy as one of the last romantic ideals in our sad little world. Without the monarchy, can women all over the world still dream of being a princess? Prince William is a living Prince Charming is he not? So what is Britain without the Royal family???

Off to watch more DVDs!

Sincerely,
modgurl.

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Monday, April 23, 2007 @ 8:12 pm

Dear Blogger,

It's officially the start of the summer break for SMU. I have no desire to keep myself updated of any school news, not even emails. I don't care much if my inbox is full. They're mostly junk mails anyway. I don't much about school either!

Keeping myself busy with rented DVDs and IKEA. I've rented "Blood Diamond", "Babel" and "The Queen" this afternoon. So, looking forward to watching them within these 3 days. My room is full of IKEA products already. I've got to stop buying from that store! What is it with IKEA??? I planned to leave with just one item, but I ended up with a trolley full of knick knacks!

Check out the archives for last week's "missing" entries. Been so busy slacking that I didn't even even want to touch my laptop.

Sincerely,
modgurl.

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Saturday, April 21, 2007 @ 11:18 pm

Dear Blogger,

I had to work overtime today because my colleagues couldn't be back on time from the Breast Cancer Foundation event at Ngee Ann City. This was despite the fact that I had already made plans with Paul. I was tired and unmotivated. Sales were very, very poor this week.

I took Paul to the National Museum, because (a) it was free, and (b) it opened till late. Even though I've caught the permanent and "Under the Crescent Moon" galleries previously, I could capture more photos now that I've gotten myself a new mobile phone.

It wasn't really a new model. It's a Nokia 6288 which I had bought at an upgrade price. But its functionalities suited my objectives and budget. So expect to see more photos in my blogs.

By the way, M1 users planning to buy a new mobile phone should buy from its online shop. You'll save $30 as compared to buying from its stores. You get the same package anyway.

There was a new exhibit at the museum. It's the "Animated Films from Germany" exhibition. It featured some clay figurines used in the animated films. Much like anime, but more goth I think. Freaky at times. Very Hellboy-like.















Animated Films from Germany Exhibition









Film room



Photography room



Food room



Posters of "Under the Crescent Moon Exhibition"

The museum was also showing some films from the ongoing Singapore Film Festival. But we couldn't catch any film. We wanted to check out the Ink Bar at Raffles the Plaza, down the street. Some old acquaintances of mine were playing there.



Band at Ink Bar (recorded via mobile phone)

Sincerely,
modgurl

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Friday, April 20, 2007 @ 11:05 pm

Dear Blogger,

Didn't plan to start drinking and smoking again. Didn't plan to stay out so late either! The plan was to have dinner and go home to my DVDs. I wanted to watch the sequel to "Death Note", "Death Note 2: The Last Name".

So I blamed my dinner date! But two and a half pints of Hoegarden had never tasted so good! So were the Marlboro Ultra Light Menthol sticks! I've no desire to do this on a regular basis though. This temporary weakness just shows how human I am.

By the way, the original film was better because it was funnier. The sequel was too serious and (warning! spoiler ahead!) the main characters died in the end. Bummer!

Sincerely,
modgurl.

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Thursday, April 19, 2007 @ 11:58 pm

Dear Blogger,

Now that I'm a VideoEzy member, I'm renting DVDs like nobody's business! I used to subscribe to HollywoodClicks, but the monthly subscription was getting a bit too unmanageable for me. Besides, I didn't have much time anymore to watch DVDs at home every week. I still think HollywoodClicks is super convenient and it offers more titles than the rental stores combined.

VideoEzy has an online rental too, but I didn't want that. I wanted the luxury of browsing the titles in person. I'd compromised on the collection scale though. I do wish the censor board would ease up on the R(A) titles. Some of the good movie I've missed in the cinema can't be rented or bought on DVDs here. I so wanted to watch "The Usual Suspects" and "Trainspotting"! But I couldn't find them anywhere here!

Sincerely,
modgurl.

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Tuesday, April 17, 2007 @ 11:38 pm

Dear Blogger,

Today, I made my way to Macritchie Reservoir to explore the HSBC Treetop Walk. I left home at 9 a.m., and only arrived at Toa Payoh Interchange an hour later. From there, I rode another bus to Macritchie Reservoir, via Thomson Road. I really wished I had the car for the day.

When I was finally at Macritchie Reservoir, I realised I had to walk another 5km to the Treetop. It would have not been too bad if this Finnish tourist had not insisted that we walked there together. The last thing I wanted was to entertain a guy, even though he's a tourist.

This guy could talk and talk! I just wanted to enjoy my nature! I couldn't even make a proper video of my walk! I started feeling very uncomfortable when I knew he liked me, for whatever reason. At first, I thought it was his culture to be very friendly. Then I thought, why was his friendliness giving me the creeps???

Nevertheless, I tried to be as polite as possible. Just because I wasn't interested in him at all, didn't mean that I had to be ill-mannered too. This is life isn't it? When you don't want it, it comes swarming to you like bees to honey. But when you really, really want it, it's like looking for a needle in a haystack.

Anyway, I've edited my video. It's a really nice trail, annoying tourist aside. It can be tiring (10km round trip), but it's worth the view and experience. Besides, you never know what you're going to see and meet! Whether or not you like the surprise, that's another matter.



Sincerely,
modgurl.

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Monday, April 16, 2007 @ 10:42 pm

Dear Blogger,

Been busy. Procrastinating. Turning in crappy work. Hating myself. But, I did get to drive for a whole day! So, I'm quite cool about that. It's so rare that I get to drive. I really miss driving. I miss my baby. My awesome four-wheel baby. I can drive and drive all day and I'll never get tired.

So what's a Singaporean girl got to do when she gets to drive? Drive to JB of course! Whatever for? Who cares! It's been, what, 10 over years already??? And still JB has not changed one bit! It's roads are still under construction. I came across a stretch of highway that had signboards looked like they were ripped apart by Godzilla!

Hating myself still. Feeling ugly. I hate being with people! I don't know where people get this idea that I'm an extrovert. I'm not! I really prefer to be left on my own with things I like. It's nice to have a companion now and then, but if I'm not meant to have one, why kill myself over it right?

Sincerely,
modgurl.

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Saturday, April 14, 2007 @ 9:43 pm

Dear Blogger,

I so wanted to try the Signature Bread Pudding at Delifrance Plaza by the Park. I think, this week is my indulgence week! Desserts, seafood, sashimi... Boy! When I'm craving for something, it sure doesn't come cheap! Anyway, after throwing my nasi padang lunch, I headed towards Delifrance across the street, only to be told that there was no bread pudding today. How disappointing!

So I settled for the Crepe Suzette. It's "hot crepe with caramalised apple wedges in an orange and butter sauce served with a full scoop of vanilla ice cream". It wasn't too bad. Tangy and sweet. Goes well with my espresso. But I still want the bread pudding!

There goes my weight loss triumph! But how often do I indulge in culinary extravagance??? Hardly! I might lose my appetite again for several months. Who knows??? So I think I won't sleep over it.

I believe I've mentioned this before. The news that's gripping Singapore is the Nonoi case. Nonoi was the 2-year-old girl who was murdered by her stepfather. The twist now is that forensic tests have found that Nonoi's father is not her biological father! What drama! This is so much better than "Days of Our Lives" or all those Indonesian serials Mommy loves to watch.

Based on what I've read about the mother, I'm really not surprised. It's a common case, now that we're all blessed with more sexual freedom now. The only difference is that some choose to feign ignorance while the truly repentant ones face the truth head on!

God sure is a joker isn't He? He sure chose a killer moment to reveal the truth!

Sincerely,
modgurl.

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Thursday, April 12, 2007 @ 11:17 pm

Dear Blogger,

Despite being seriously flamed during a group presentation this morning, I am going to end the day, not in sorrow, but in reflection. As I've learnt time and time again, life goes on. So even if our final year project was disastrous, we could be service to other groups by being real-life examples of how NOT to do projects with clients.

I'd be lying if I say I wasn't disappointed. But I have to admit that internally, we were already a mess. Each of us is a misfit. So, our own little peculiarities have made our group not just unique, but easily combustible too. It was really, really to get along. You don't have to be upclose to see that there was no group unity at all.

The direction of the project was contemptuous since the early stages. Even how the project management was conducted had its conflicts. I have caused some of the dissension what with my disappearing act over the course of the semester. You'd do the same if your heart was ripped out with bare hands and shred to pieces!

So what did I do? I delighted myself in a meal at Fish & Co! I ordered the new New York Fish & Chips (the fish was smothered with glorious melted cheese on the inside of the batter). Luckily I didn't order any appetisers or dessert. I only managed to chow down half of the fish!

A good meal is made more satisfying when you are joined by a wonderful diner. Very rare these days. Wasn't a date or anything. He was bored, and I was hungry. He invited me to join him on a trip to Padang, Indonesia next month. Very tempting offer, although I've already made plans to visit KL on the same month. I would love to feel the minangkabau experience first-hand! Just needed to make sure that my financial situation is healthy first before I can take this on.

Suddenly,
modgurl.

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Wednesday, April 11, 2007 @ 11:48 pm

Dear Blogger,

Midweek, and I could already feel the long-awaited summer break is almost here. Four and half months of no school feels so wonderfully hedonistic right now. I don't have a concrete plan yet on what to do during the break. If I couldn't afford to go for an overseas community service or internship, most likely I'll spend my time working.

Before that, I have to get these exams and project presentations over and done with. They feel heavier and heavier now that the summer break is looming. I spent the whole day in school trying to finish up the slides for tomorrow's presentation. I still have no idea how this presentation is going to turn out because my team members and I are trying to manage our "creative differences".

I've become less and less eloquent when I'm trying to express my ideas to a person. It seems so easy in writing. But when I have to explain my visions orally, the words that come out from my mouth are usually not exactly what I have in mind.

So I felt that the dinner at a Japanese restaurant in Liang Court was well-deserved. Thanks to Paul from KL for the treat! Finally, we got to meet! It's always wonderful to put a face to my blog readers. He's here on a business trip, so I felt obliged to show him what a wonderful city I live in. Thus, it's funny that I'm having a hard time thinking of places to take him!

And I am so looking forward to the trips I've planned to take in the following months! Firstly, I am determined to go on the HSBC Treetop Walk some time next week! Secondly, I'm planning to return to St John's Island at the end of this month. Lastly, after a year of being stranded here, I will be able to make my way to KL! I don't know yet what I'll do there, but I'm sure I'll think of something.

Not forgetting the little trips to the museums, libraries, art galleries and performances. I've been wanting to attend an SSO performance. Maybe I'll drop by Esplanade for one of those free weekday lunchtime performance.

Sincerely,
modgurl.

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Tuesday, April 10, 2007 @ 9:54 am

Dear Blogger,

I felt very, very lethargic and I had to sit for the Ethics final today of all days. I didn't feel brilliant enough to discuss Ethics today. I felt fat too! It's that horrible feeling you get after eating too much carbohydrates. The only thing was, I hardly eat any carbo today!

Let's just say I didn't do too well on the Ethics paper. The essays I had to write had no structure, no strong justifications and not worth reading. That is so unlike me at all! I'm a writer for God's sake! I teach people how to write!

Maybe it's the subject itself. I think ethics is over-rated! Everyone knows you have to be and live ethically. But sometimes, you ask yourself why, in a certain situation, this is an ethical issue??? For example, if you want a particular job because it pays well, yet you know that some its practices go against your values. You go cry out DISCRIMINATION when you can't do the job. So, where's the ethical issue here???

Then I felt sad. Very sad. So sad that I cried. It didn't get any better when I got home. While having dinner, Daddy kept muttering how everyone will be better off if I get married. What is wrong with these people?! Marriage does NOT equate to happiness! Besides, I'm not even dating anyone! Enough with the domestic stress already!

I couldn't take it anymore. So I threw up everything that was in my digestive system. Everything! Shoved my fingers down my throat so deep that I could feel my larynx. Hate it! Hate it! Hate it!

Sincerely,
modgurl.

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Sunday, April 08, 2007 @ 11:47 pm

Dear Blogger,

I just sat for my first final paper of the year this afternoon, on Easter Sunday. That's right! I had to sit for an exam paper on Easter Sunday! Obviously, there were no Christians or Catholics in my class. Even if no one's religious, no one remembered that Sunday was supposed to be NO SCHOOL DAY!!!

Fortunately it was an open book exam. I was too tired to revise last night. Yesterday was a long day at work remember? But I did manage to cram as much as I could this morning. The paper wasn't too hard. It was kind of fun actually. It was all about visualisation and diagrams. Something that I'm quite good at.

Was supposed to go home straight after that for further revision, but I thought, what the heck! Went to the National Library to check out the Aksara: The Passage of Malay Scripts exhibit. I wasn't disappointed. The evolution of Malay writing from sanskrit to jawi to roman was fascinating! There were awesome stone sculptures and tablets engraved with these writings. Reminded me of the Rosetta stone.


A stone tablet with sanskrit engravings














Thanks to Hardy for these wonderful shots of the exhibits

I could read a little jawi. Mommy taught us when we were very, very young. In our previous apartment, our room (I shared a bedroom with my two brothers back then) had this wall-lined blackboard. When Daddy's away at work on some evenings, Mommy taught us jawi to keep us occupied. I haven't started school back then.

She'd write the Arabic-influenced characters on the board and we'd recite the characters. I think I can still remember how to write simple sentences. These days, the only jawi most people know are the ones recited in that classic P Ramlee movie, "Pendekar Bujang Lapok". Alif ya mim - Ayam! (Chicken)

The National Library had three floors of exhibits. The Aksara exhibit was on the 10th floor. On the 9th floor, there was a Design in Photography exhibit. It features really cool photography and design by local photographers. Spot my love note on one of the displays! Don't forget to pick up one of the cool portfolio boxes there!


Me at the Aksara exhibit

On the 7th floor, there was another exhibit on design. It was an interactive exhibit where visitors can leave comments or suggestions on the design of certain common items like the playground, signboards, toilets and even our identity card! Spot my comments in the notebooks for some of the designs if you can!

Spent a few hours in the library because of all these exhibits. Who says you need to spend on anything for a cultural and educational experience??? I hope our libraries and museums hold more of these kinds of exhibitions. They're wonderfully different than the boring Singaporean activities like shopping and eating.


Me at the Bugis collection (homage to Daddy's ancestors)

Talking about eating, even though I don't eat much these days, eating is still a convenient social activity. Met some IRC chatters (Hardy and BoXxeR) for dinner at the Beach Road food centre. Don't ask my why I was the only woman in the group. I seem to mix better with guys.

I devoured in the tasty sup tulang, something which I've been craving for quite some time. Chewed and sucked on only two bones, and I was full! Keep this up and I'll achieve my desired dress size. Is a Size 2 too ambitious???

Headed to another diner along Beach Road for teh tarik and some mindless chatter. I can't do mindless chatter. I don't know how many people could do it. It's such a waste of time! I can be a great conversationalist when there's something interesting to talk about. Bitching doesn't count! And you know I'm a funny person. In a sardonic kind of way.

I really, really wanted to smoke too, but I didn't. Not that I'm against smoking now. I will always be a casual smoker. I just didn't need to smoke. Perhaps, it's because I haven't had a drop of alcohol. Ciggies and alcohol... they always go together don't they? Or could be that I've been celibate for three months! Sex and smoking... another potent combination.

Sincerely,
modgurl.

*my pictures are blurry. I think it's time I indulge in a digital camera or a better camera phone!

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Saturday, April 07, 2007 @ 9:51 pm

Dear Blogger,

I've been thinking for awhile now, that if nothing seriously committed happens to me by the time I turn 30, I'll withdraw my savings and splurge on a Haj pilgrimage. It sounds laughable isn't it? Firstly, I have to have some savings in the first place. And secondly, anything can happen in these three years.

To go on a pilgrimage is one of the five pillars of Islam. I thought if I can get that done and over with, I can put my thoughts and energy on other things like praying the requisite five times daily. That, I think, is the most challenging of the pillars. The days when I managed to do all five prayers are so rare that they're worth celebrating!

Why not an umrah instead? Because I've gone on an umrah before! Unbelievable isn't it? I was 20, and my wings were just about to spread. So, going on an umrah back then was more like a holiday rather than a religious experience. Besides, we went there on false pretenses! My beloved (BLUEKK!) uncle's "treat" was actually a loan Daddy took on from him because he thought this trip would make up for his failure to finance my overseas education desire.

I found out about it on the day of our departure, and let's just say I didn't enjoy the 7-day trip. Mid-week, Daddy reprimanded me for being selfish, and I ended the trip in complete silence. I didn't speak to him till a year later.

Me selfish? He promised me repeatedly ever since I could read (at 3 years old amazingly!) that if I study hard enough, I'd get what I wanted! And I wanted to graduate in the UK! He broke that promise! A lesson to everyone: Never, ever make any promises you can't keep. Even to children!

I did learn something on that trip though. I learned not to be afraid to question anything. Not even God's words. If God wanted me to submit myself to him in all my entirety, he wouldn't bless me with a thinking brain and all this superwoman strength. I've committed many stupid things over the years, but I've learned from them. Or is still learning from them. It's the best form of education there is!

Oh well... It has been an awfully long day. My feet are aching. My brain can't make up its mind on what to do. My sight is getting blurry. My hearing is more sensitive because everything seems louder. I just want to go home!

You know how when you're exhausted and lonely, everyone seems mean to you? That's how I'm feeling right now. In the crowded train, people shove me harder than before. On the street, they ignore me. I'm more invisible than before!

OK! I admit I'm sorely lacking male attention! I haven't been asked out on a date in months! Not even a blind date! Let's just forget about meaningful sex ya! It's moments like these that make me wonder what the hell is wrong with me???

Sincerely,
modgurl.

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Friday, April 06, 2007 @ 8:12 pm

Dear Blogger,

On the way home from work, at my train station, I found myself side by side with a guy I once knew. He was already a supposed family man when we met years ago. I said supposed because most married men I've met have been nothing but boys leading double lives. Often times, these men are (or were) married to beautiful, capable women! So, it still puzzles me why they still prey on other women.

He and I didn't get it on. He wasn't my type! He was cocky and self-absorbed. He carried about him this air of superiority that was both nauseating and intoxicating. What am I talking about?! He was SO the type I have the misfortune of being attracted to ALL the time!!!

Why didn't anything happened with him? Hmm... Can't really remember the reason now. Oh that's right! I was still madly in love with THAT bastard! The thought of cheating on him was so repulsive back then! He sure didn't think the same when he cheated on me did he???

Anyway, this afternoon, he couldn't recognise me. Couldn't blame him. I think I've changed a lot, style-wise. I was no longer the idealistic, naive young woman. There's an air of world-weary confidence about me now. Whatever it was, I'm still a jerk-magnet. And I didn't want him to be attracted to me.

I didn't say hi to him. He was with his family and I didn't want his wife to think that I was one of his "extra-curricular activities". I don't think his wife recognised or even remembered me either. But I do remember visiting them for Hari Raya eons ago, and that vision was as clear as crystal!

He seemed more humble now. It was as if he was caught doing something he shouldn't be doing. Oh wait a minute! There were rumours that he was caught with his pants down! I hope that wasn't literally. I wonder who was the girl who caused his downfall? I say, GOOD FOR HER!!! The fact that he's still married to the same woman and with the same kids, he SHOULD feel awfully minuscule now.

That just goes to show, nothing lasts forever.

Sincerely,
modgurl.

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Wednesday, April 04, 2007 @ 11:54 pm

Dear Blogger,

There has been so much news coverage and discussion about the development of integrated resorts and Formula 1 grand prix races here. My take on those is, "LEAVE MY SINGAPORE ALONE!!!". I know that their existence is beneficial to our economy, but so is conservation of our environment and culture!

I mean tourists don't flock to Paris for Euro Disneyland or Hong Kong for the world's longest escalator. These are tourist hotspots because of their culture! People come to Singapore because it's clean, green and safe! And hardly any long-distance traveler makes Singapore a one-stop destination. We're a pit-stop for all other Asian destinations!

Even when development has nothing to do with tourist dollars, we are still tearing down historical or culturally-rich or sentimentally-treasured buildings. Just look at what happened to the old National Library at Stamford Road. It was demolished for what? All for a 5-minute express tunnel to Orchard Road. Is that taxpayer's money well-spent? All in the name of development!

The other hot news was about abuses. One was about abuses in the oldest and once-respected Muslim orphanage. The accused was a guard who multi-tasked as a supervisor. The abused boy was sent to the hospital 6 months ago, but it took a newspaper report for the management to scramble looking for a scapegoat.

The other was the case of a murdered and sexually-abused 2-year-old Malay girl whose decomposed body was found under the Aljunied flyover last year. For the latter case, the murderer was the father of the child. Death sentence seems too easy for him. What the hell is wrong with you?! She's bloody 2 years old!!!

On a lighter note, "Planet Earth" on Arts Central is AWESOME!!! In tonight's debut, the shot of the great white shark leaping out of the sea and into the air while gnawing its teeth onto a seal was mouth-dropping spectacular! The filming was so photogenic and it made me wonder how the hell did the film crew capture those beautiful shots without being trampled by herds of elephants and buffaloes or being eaten by the predatory creatures. I want to go on a safari!!!

Once again, E(squared) will dance another week in "The Dance Floor". Tonight, the theme was modern dance. I don't know much about dancing but I've watched Martha Graham performances on TV. Like singing, isn't dancing or other form of performance about relating to the audience? I mean, if I can't feel that energy or that concept you're trying to portray, then your performance isn't very good is it?

Most of the groups left couldn't pull off a decent modern dance performance! Some came close but they didn't do it for me. I have my favourites but I give credit where credit is due. I may just be an armchair judge, but I think my rationale for my judgments make more sense than the judges on the show!

I seriously don't know what the judges see, but I do know how most Singaporeans would vote. Once when you have the general public cast their votes, the whole "talent" contest becomes a popularity contest. Who cares about talents when you have your parents, grandparents, great-grandparents, aunties, uncles, siblings, cousins, school friends, army friends, work friends, chat friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, lovers, mistresses, etc etc etc to vote for you???

Sincerely,
modgurl.

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Tuesday, April 03, 2007 @ 3:24 pm

Dear Blogger,

It's the second day of the study week. I've yet to start my revision though. There are still many outstanding work to complete before the semester ends. But my exams are next week! So somehow I must find a way to get everything completed and as much revision done as possible!

As usual, when I'm overwhelmed, I'll drop everything and entertain myself in some distracting activity. For today, it was IKEA! I love, love, love IKEA! It doesn't necessarily have the best quality products, but the colours, simple idiot-proof designs and prices are simply irresistible!

I decided to spend my morning in IKEA because I've ran out of tealights for my aromatherapy burner. IKEA sells them the cheapest; 100 pieces for only $3.95! Instead of a dash and go, I ended up filling my shopping bag with a quilt and pillow cover set, bath towels, door stoppers, book ends, whiteboard markers, a travel pillow and complimentary bag (great for those coach trips to Malaysia!) and of course, my tealights. Along the way home, I picked up an incense stick holder and a pack of my fave Nestle Intense instant coffee satchets at Fairprice.

If not for the spending spree at IKEA, I'd have dropped by Giant across the street too. But that's more of Mommy's thing you know. Besides, my feet were already aching from all that walking in the IKEA building. It's so huge! Somehow, I preferred its Alexandra store because of its compact space. Saves me all that walking. Saves my shoes!

Enough shopping for the time being. Now it's back to school work!

Sincerely,
modgurl.

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Monday, April 02, 2007 @ 7:32 pm

Dear Blogger,

I don't know if it's the hot weather today, but I felt sleepy all day! I couldn't keep my eyes open, even after drowning my body system with black coffee every few hours! Worse, I kept thinking of sex! I almost lost my resolve if not for the fact that my contact list is now devoid of any available male.

I simply couldn't believe that it has been 3 months since my last orgasmic romp! No wonder I'm distracted! The thing is, I don't feel horny enough to actually go through with it!

My appetite was also acting up. I wasn't hungry but I just felt like snacking. The problem was, I couldn't make up my mind on what to stuff into my mouth! Sleepy, yet restless. Why am I prone to self-contradiction?

I think I'm going to gain back the weight I've lost because I'm indulging myself in peanut and sweet corn ice kacang now, right after I've had a bowl of dry yong tau foo. I love this dessert! It's so rare to find one these days, so it's really a treat to finally indulge on one. My only regret is eating the yong tau foo. Where do I throw up?

Sincerely,
modgurl.

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Sunday, April 01, 2007 @ 11:12 pm

Dear Blogger,

It's been a long day, but we made good sales. I knocked off 3 hours later than usual because we were understaffed. Murphy dictates that only when we are understaffed, customers flock to you like hungry birds.

I wanted to have dinner after that. I only had breakfast today. As usual, no one's available to have dinner with me. Why I'm still surprised about that, I don't know. I don't like to dine alone, and I didn't feel like it. So I went home disappointed and hungry.

I was looking at the full moon while waiting for the bus. It was so round and bright! There was something about the moon tonight because it made everything around me seemed so insignificant. From up above, we are just small creatures, arrogant of our way of life. The technological achievements accomplished in our lifetime are nothing compared to what's up there.

We are destroying ourselves you know. We are our own worst enemies. Our wars and destructions have killed more people than all natural disasters combined! Holocaust. Chernobyl. The World Wars. Just to name a few.

I think God has been kind on us. Even after calamities of biblical proportions, God still deliver us Messengers to guide us. Now that we are monstrously misguided, will He send us another Messenger to show us the right path? The Quran stated that Muhammad was the last Prophet and Messenger. Does that mean it's the end for us?

Sincerely,
modgurl.

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