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who am i

Name: modgurl
Location: Singapore

New mom. New woman. Born in Singapore. Raised in the World Wide Web.
Tuesday, January 24, 2006 @ 10:53 pm

Dear Blogger,

Nothing beats stress better than by working harder. It's not just the stress. I think I'm pushing myself with activities so that I don't burden myself with thoughts of recent events. I guess you can say that I'm hiding under the faces of school and work. The realities do not appeal to me anymore. I'm slowly living in my own little fantasy world.

I finally visited my dad. I really didn't want to be there. Sick or well, he still gave me shit! There was awkward silence and it was killing me. I seriously wanted to leave just as soon as I had stepped in. I was right, wasn't I? My presence was a complete waste of time for everyone.

I hope my visit this time has stopped everyone from bugging me about visiting him. It's an insincere move on my part but hopefully I'll be left alone this time. But why do I have this nagging feeling that I won't be left in peace? It just seems like people will always want a piece of me.

Anyway, he's fine. Apparently, he had scalded his foot. When the foot over-swelled, the doctor thought that his blood isn't doing its job because of his diabetes. Unfortunately, it was because of his diabetes and age that he had to have some of his toes on that foot removed. Just so that whatever condition his foot had contracted doesn't spread to the rest of his leg.

Now I understood how Din felt when I was admitted years ago. He didn't visit me, not because he didn't care at all, but because he cared too much! Oh that's bullshit! He didn't care and that's it! I should really stop defending his every move.

Sincerely,
modgurl.

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