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who am i

Name: modgurl
Location: Singapore

New mom. New woman. Born in Singapore. Raised in the World Wide Web.
Sunday, January 22, 2006 @ 6:06 pm

Dear Blogger,

My dad's still in the hospital and I still haven't visited him. My sister had asked if I'm ever going to visit him. I haven't replied. A part of me doesn't want to. Besides, I think today, my relatives are going to be there. I don't want to see any of them. I don't consider them part of my family at all. They're my parents' family. Just not mine.

It had been a very hot day at work. I couldn't stay energetic for long. I grew tired easily even though I made sure I kept myself dehydrated. I wanted to go home. I wanted to have a shower. I wanted to sleep. I wanted nothing to do with the world.

Then on the way home, after the train emerged from the tunnel, the sky was dark with heavy rain. I could barely see the towering buildings ahead. I felt cold. Too cold. I think the weather these days is a mess! It's as crazy as I am!

Then I felt angry. Angry at everything and everyone. I didn't want to care anymore. I was tired of having to carry the world's problems on my shoulders. They were getting too heavy for me. I wanted to run but there was no where to run. It was as if my ankles were strapped with incredibly heavy chains.

Unconciously, I touched my wrist. The scars were still there. I wanted to cry but no tears were formed. Even my tears have deserted me! God!!! AAAAARRRRGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! I'm tired. I'm very, very tired. I want to sleep. Forever.

Sincerely,
modgurl.

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