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who am i

Name: modgurl
Location: Singapore

New mom. New woman. Born in Singapore. Raised in the World Wide Web.
Tuesday, July 01, 2003 @ 9:43 am

Dear Blogger,

Something is wrong with me. I think I'm sick. Since Sunday night, I've been crying myself to sleep. I don't know what happened. I just burst into tears for no reason. And my sensitivities are bordering on the edge.

What is wrong with me??? I don't seem to have anymore control of myself. I can't focus on anything. It's affecting my work and my life. I need help. But what kind of help?

Din must have known that I was not well. He messaged me asking where I was and what I was doing. I didn't reply. He asked me again and seemed to plead asking if I didn't want to talk to him anymore. I didn't reply. He called. I let my phone ring for awhile. I was very surprised that he called. He hardly calls me anymore. It seemed so weird just hearing the ringtone assigned to him and seeing his name flashing in my caller ID.

I answered his call. Told him I was tired and I was going to sleep. He sounded chirpy but there was a slight disappointment at hearing my voice. I don't know if he had heard my sobbing. I doubt he did. I asked him what did he want. He said he called because I didn't reply his messages. That was unusual.

I didn't tell him about what happened. I knew even if I tell him, he's not going to do anything about it. He doesn't like negativity. What is it with guys and crying girls? Don't they realise that what we need is for them to show a little bit of concern. At least I do. If only he'd come over and hold me, I know I'd be better. But there was no one, is there?

Sometimes I feel like I'm trapped in a box. Do you know what that feels like? I need to get out of here. A weekend trip is not enough.


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