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who am i

Name: modgurl
Location: Singapore

New mom. New woman. Born in Singapore. Raised in the World Wide Web.
Monday, June 16, 2003 @ 12:23 am

Dear Blogger,

It has been a full moon for the last 3 nights. What a beautiful moon! It was very round and very clear. It was very, very glowy. Such a mesmerising shine. You could even see the moon man from here.

For the past 3 nights, as I watched amazed at the moon, my heart has felt nothing but sorrow. Sorrow because there was no one to gaze at the gorgeous moon with me. A feeling that leads to loneliness and eventually, sadness.

What a beautiful night, but it was wasted because my love was not here to share it with me. I wonder if he feels the same. But I'm sure he doesn't. How do I let go? I have got to learn to let go. My faith and loyalty are my strengths but I'm afraid they are my weaknesses too.

I watched Matrix Reloaded. Finally. I didn't plan to watch it tonight. I didn't plan to go out at all. BlueCat, a friend I had known this year had out of the blue, asked me out. I had spurned his love once and he hated me for it. I had not spoken and or even tried to contact him. I believed I had caused enough hurt to an innocent being already.

I think he was a little disappointed with me tonight. I didn't trust him. I had myself up in arms and it made me look like an ice queen. I gave him the wrong idea once and I have no desire to do it again. I hope he recovers.


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