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who am i

Name: modgurl
Location: Singapore

New mom. New woman. Born in Singapore. Raised in the World Wide Web.
Tuesday, June 10, 2003 @ 2:01 pm

Dear Blogger,

I amaze myself sometimes. Sometimes I do things with the most innocent of intentions and still, it becomes controversial. It's one of the mysteries of life I guess.

For example, this website. When I first started publishing details about my life, it was meant to be an avenue where I could release my frustrations, my anger, my loneliness, etc etc. None of my peers seem to understand what I was trying to say. Even till now. And since some of them have been telling me I'm a really good writer, I should write. The result: modgurl's blogger.

I didn't realise my writings would affect someone else's nerves. Why should they??? It's just a brutally honest look at how I feel about some things and some people. HELLO!!! That's what a journal aka diary is!

My teachers and to some extend my dad, are right. Knowledge is power! I guess I've always underestimated myself. I've focused too much on my appearance rather that what I was blessed with. That is, a thinking brain. Yeah sure. Everyone has a brain. It's the thing that makes your body functions. But does everyone has a thinking brain? Aaahhhhh... that's something to ponder, isn't it?

When my teachers told me at the age of 10, that I was mature for my age, they were not referring to my growing breasts or my increasing womanly curves. They were referring to the perceptive way I look at things. Geez! It took me 13 years to realise that. Duh!

I admit that since young, I know I'm smart and I may even call myself intelligent, but I'm bordering on cockiness here. Why should I sell myself short? I'm smart, so what? People can mistake that for aloofness or even arrogance, BIG DEAL! I worked hard for it afterall.

I got beatings and insults for not remembering the time-table. I got mocked at for barely passing my Malay language. I may not be a President's Scholar (they can't live in the real world anyway) but I'm better than some of the people I know because I keep learning.

I may not have a DD breasts or a tight white arse and I certainly don't weigh 130 pounds but I'm sure I can make it up with the gift I have. If only men are not intimidated by it. No wonder men go ga-ga over dumb girls.

So I'll just notch down the intelligence portion a bit. Anything for my darling. I'm really proud of him. He's so committed to his work. I haven't told him that though. Maybe I should give that fellow a break. Lay him off a little. Be the good, sweet, obedient little girlfriend he has always wanted. Yeah rite! Hehe. Love you sweetheart! Muaaakkkks!


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