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who am i

Name: modgurl
Location: Singapore

New mom. New woman. Born in Singapore. Raised in the World Wide Web.
Monday, June 23, 2003 @ 8:54 am

Dear Blogger,

He stood me up again last night. This is the 3rd time this week! Why do I keep doing this to myself? I mean I know he's not going to show up. So why did I tell myself otherwise?

He didn't even apologise. I'm sure it wasn't his fault. His job held him back again but he could have apologised. That would have been polite.

Did he know how disappointed I was in him last night? Did he hear me cry in bed? I told him I was tired of being disappointed by him. I stopped short of telling him that it wasn't fault. It was partially his fault you know. He should have known that he will be held back. It had happened several times. So how could last night be any different?

Now I'm contradicting myself. If I knew that things will be as it is, then why do I feel so upset about it? Perhaps because I expected too much? What do I know? I'm just a woman. I don't understand myself, especially when it concerns matters of the heart.

I can't wait for Thursday. The long weekend trip off the island will be good for me. Just waiting for the cheque to come in though. Bloody hell! When is the bank going to send it to me?!

Sincerely,
modgurl.

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