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who am i

Name: modgurl
Location: Singapore

New mom. New woman. Born in Singapore. Raised in the World Wide Web.
Saturday, May 10, 2003 @ 7:46 pm

Dear Blogger,

As I was watching X2 this afternoon at the cinema, I suddenly felt like something was missing. My sister was beside me. She really wanted to watch the movie. So, I was not watching it alone. But something was definitely missing. It was midway through the movie, I finally realised what that missing something was. I don't need to tell you what that was right? The problem was the seats at my row were occupied by young couples. That's right. I was sandwiched in between lovey dovey couples. I almost broke down when the ladies started resting their heads on their respective partners' shoulders.

I sorely wanted to rest my head on someone's shoulders. I sorely wanted to entwine my arms around someone's arms. I sorely wanted to hear the heartbeat of someone's heart. Isn't there a day that I won't feel so melancholic??? For once, I would like to walk down the streets without feeling nostalgic.

Everywhere I go, it's couple here, couple there. I really can't stand it anymore. All the way home, I kept thinking I have a boyfriend, but it feels like I don't. In fact, I don't even know if he's really my boyfriend. Perhaps everyone is right. I should just dump him. He's just using me. Right?

At times like this, I think God is punishing me. I've had it coming. He's giving me a wake up call saying "Hey you! Don't you ever forget that I'm always watching you. You'd better remember me." How else can I explain the recent events that have happened to me?

I really don't know. I just don't know. If he calls, I'll answer. If he doesn't, I'll just don't care. If any guy, whom I find interesting asks me out, I'll consider it. I can't just sit here and feel sorry for myself. I'm better than that.


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