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who am i

Name: modgurl
Location: Singapore

New mom. New woman. Born in Singapore. Raised in the World Wide Web.
Monday, April 14, 2003 @ 9:10 am

Dear Blogger,

I had an awful weekend. It was spent at work. Both work. I work full-time at a women's and children's hospital, non-medical mind you. I work part-time answering queries and book tickets for concert goers.

I am tired. Not dead tired. But tired. I need time on my own just to gather my thoughts. I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. Not on purpose. Sometimes I think of issues unconsciously until my brain juice run dry. I wish there's a switch off button in my brain so that I won't have to think of unpleasant things. I'm so emotionally tired every time I think of such things. My face is constantly wet with tears because of it. Why does it happen I wonder? Is it because of all those years of built up frustration? Or is it because that I'm just a cry baby?

I thought by taking up an extra job, I would be too busy to be thinking too much. After all, guys do that when they want to avoid negative feelings and thoughts. Guys are a totally different species altogether aren't they? Nevertheless, ever since I've started working part-time, I seem to have more time to read. That is good, isn't it? Better than thinking about death or past relationships.

I'm reading a book by John Gray, "Mars and Venus Starting Over". I'm still at the 1st chapter but Mr John Gray hasn't been much help. He hasn't touched on something which I don't already know. I'll bet there are other readers who share my view. And Mr John Gray is earning lots of money now because of his books. How silly is that?

I miss him you know. My ex-boyfriend. His name is Din. He still contacts me and he still fancies me. Only when he wants IT that is. I miss the old Din. I miss those innocent times when IT wasn't in the picture. Now all he wants is IT! I've tried to explain to him that there is more to a relationship than just IT, like companionship. But guys being guys, they don't seem to understand anything but IT. I don't know what he is now. So to avoid anymore turmoil, I shall just treat him as my ex-boyfriend. Oh yeah. We will still talk about IT, but that doesn't mean I will do IT. By the way, I've sent him a letter of my confession. It will be interesting to see the outcome later.


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